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  • Writer's pictureangelamckayllc

Where did my joy go? I could’ve sworn I put it right there!

This self-care coach needs to up her game, her personal self-care game. Y’all, I can feel myself fraying at the edges. This means I need to focus in a little bit more on what my mind/body/soul are telling me.

I tend to be the queen of “fine.” Not a title (self-inflicted title) that I enjoy carrying. As pointed out to me by a coworker years ago…FINE = Feelings I’m Not Expressing. 🤦‍♀️ I’m working on it!

With a volume increase in my HR job and in running my Coaching/Tarot business…while also maintaining relationships and a household, I think I let myself (keyword “self”) slip a bit. It’s time to step my self-care and self-awareness, time to prioritize myself more.

Feeling blah in my morning routine, I started by changing up my journaling. To shake it up, I used some Sacral Chakra journaling prompts from Zanna Keithley (you can find the article here.)

The specific prompts I used were:

  • What brings me joy? In what ways is my life filled with joy?

  • How can I cultivate more feelings of joy in my daily life?

I admit, when I use prompts, I have to get past my vulnerability armor. I have a tendency to see certain exercises as “cheesy.” And, even in the presence of just myself, I have trouble letting go and leaning completely in. This morning though, as I approached these prompts, I didn’t struggle in the slightest. The words flowed and I started listing what brings me joy, ways that my life is filled with joy, and how I can cultivate more feelings of joy. It was as if my soul was WAITING for me to take this opportunity.

This exercise really helped me to shift my perspective. And it gave me direction. I was reminded to indulge in my senses; to see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. To be where my feet are and really embrace what is in front of me. For a moment I felt peace…and joy.

Importantly, I got out of my own way. I got out of my head and over the tension. I peeked out from underneath the overwhelm and stories I was telling myself. I recognized the beauty of this life that I get to exist and coexist in.

Self-awareness is key. To be able to recognize when you are “off.” And then, to follow your self-awareness with self-reflection, “Why am I ‘off,’ what is going on?” Next, to find self-care and action, “What can I do to move forward?” For me this looked like:

  • Self-Awareness. “My neck and shoulders are tight, my eyes are twitching, I’m tired even after rest…but why? I feel like I’m managing okay. I’m fine (see that). You know what though, where’s my joy? Why do I feel emotionally disconnected from joy?”

  • Self-Reflection. “When do I feel joyful? What does joy mean to me? How am I experiencing joy currently, but not being mindful enough to really see it? And how can I increase my feeling of joy?” (Insert journaling prompts from above here.)

  • Self-Care. Via the journaling exercise, I committed to the following action statement. “I will indulge my senses.” How? A short list… Practice mindfulness throughout my day, reminding myself to be where my feet are and anchoring with my five senses. Choose a dance-style workout to move my body. Enjoy my coffee (it’s hot, there’s steam, it tastes great, I love holding the mug, etc.) Take a walk in the brisk fall air. Appreciate a quiet moment to read and be with myself. Observe my kids in their quiet moments (parents, I know you know the joy of this form of being present.) Plus more. “Indulge in my senses.”

Getting back on track can take some time, righting the ship. However, any small movement forward is forward movement. And you can feel the effects of it right away. This time to be aware, reflect, and implement care…it works. To increase your energy, to feel joy, it can be found in small changes. But, not without the process. Self-awareness, self-reflection, self-care.

Where is your joy? Where did you put it? And how can you feel it more consistently?

Take care and love yourself,



Angela McKay LLC specializes in Life Coaching and Tarot. Angela is an Intuitive Life Coach and Tarot Professional. She stands beside her clients, lending insights into their space

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